Lyme Warrior?

[LadyB]

This thread just KEEPS getting better!

Thane, I have so often been asked to do phone consults and EXACTLY what you described above is what stops me. I'll either spend the entire time reciting every single thing I've already put out on the web for free, or I'll spend the entire time subjected to EXACTLY what you just described.

There are days when I choose not to even be HERE because I get tired of THINKING about Lyme (and theoretically, I'm WELL!!)

I'm not even sure that 'solutions oriented' gets folks through this as WE are so very complex and IT is so very complex. I find that frustrating folks to deal with are the ones who expect this or that to WORK. And when it doesn't, they go careening off to something else. For the time we have Lyme, our bodies adapt and shift. I think we need to be aware of that and the fact that as we inch closer to being well, they'll shift again.

And yes, yes, yes......the most impossible conflict I've seen is that the folks MOST intent on CONVINCING others just how HORRIBLE this plague is are the ones doing the greatest disservice to the folks who HAVE it. I felt that way about Under Our Skin. I knew from only barely being able to get through the trailer a year earlier that the PURPOSE of the film was to convince dense doctors to take this seriously, but when I saw the entire thing, I wept through most of it, not only grieving for how awful those years were for me, but also broken-hearted for all the folks who would take in the terror. This is also why I just don't like Stephen Buhner's book. While his description of the 'stealth bomber' spirochetes may be accurate, it carries a color of hopelessness that scared the crap out of me and I'd been well for YEARS when I first attempted to read it.

I'm beginning to drop the word 'cured' in regards to myself and I'm using the word WELL. I function, I have energy, I sleep like a ton of bricks. Am I absolutely certain there's not one single spirochete left in my body? How could I be? But I'm well. Sure I have days when I hurt. I'm closin' in on sixty and I've been a dancer and a gardener all my life. Hey. I'm gonna HURT. When my hip or knee hurts and I find myself worrying/wondering.....I make myself stop, pull myself back to MY present and check in with MY body, because that's what I have to work with. Everything it means to be exactly ME.

I think one of the things we can choose is what we give AUTHORITY to. Lots of folks give AUTHORITY to anything in a test result, or to pieces of writing. If I have some gene defect, I really don't want to know. I've had a completely cold-free winter. Not so much as a sniffle. So I'd say my immune system's in pretty good shape.

I think we can only ally with ourselves from day to day. And we have to Choose Our Battles, Admirals!!
LadyB

[shandyM]

I really wish I had the brain power to contribute to this.. but I just want to say.. I love what you just said LadyB...

I didn't start to see changes in myself and my circumstances until I litteraly said.. WOAH! STOP.. I CANNOT be part of this craziness,... it was driving me to suicide.... it was a FRIGHTENING time. Not only to not really know what was worng when I had 60 symptoms and coudn't walk, or speak a coherant sentence.. but then when I KNEW I had lyme, my + test and researched for 2 years.. I lost ALL hope in my body, mind and my spirit. I was SCARED shitless, paralyzed by fear... litteraly said.. there is nothing left I am ALWAYS going to be this way, I am NEVER going to make it. Being on the boards everyday and it was hopeless for me.. I had to get out of the LYME mentality, I do not mean to offend anyone here, please dont take it as such. I am not in denial of what I have, but I don't have to live it everyday online where there is no hope, and only fear. I think I educated myself into fear, TMI as LadyB says or TMR... lol... I did exactly that and put myself in a very dark and dismal place. There is such a thing as being TOO educated on something... not always a GOOD thing if you know what I mean.

I tend to not like talking about lyme at all... I have a facebook page and you don't see me actually talking about it at all, very little. I cannot do it. I have read healing lyme and think it is a GREAT book, but also had the same reaction that LadyB had. I also understand where R is coming from 100%... there is this.. Its THEM against US.. and THEY always win.. I cannot think like that anymore. Not to say it doesn't slip in.. it does, on a daily basis believe me, but I am trying to move forward. I also do NOT refer to myself as a LYMIE.. I do NOT like that term AT ALL... I will NOT refer to my friends as such either.

When I watched Under Our Skin, I cried my eyes out.. and I wont even go into the darker of thoughts I had.. needless to say I CANNOT and WILL not ever watch that movie again. I am grateful for what they are doing. But for my OWN sanity I cannot do it... My son also has lyme. I would prefer he NOT watch that movie. I do not talk to him about lyme. He goes to his doctor, takes what he needs and goes on with his life. I also cannot get involved with the politics, it's all just TOO much. I REALLY believe WE give this so much power, our own power. It is a tough balance I know. I gave it ALL my power.. I had to start taking some of that back.

I hope I am making sense.. LOL.... please forgive me if I am not. There is so much more I want to say on this subject... energy is just low for this right now...brain energy.

[Cheryl]

Howdy!
Well, I haven't been on for some time. Have a little catching up to do. I said on another forum, I don't think I've said it here, I consider myself a well person with a few bad days. Through my research and many discussions with friends, I have come to realize in a more real way that health is a life style. It isn't a pill I can pop or some thing I can DO for a short time and go on my merry way. Whether I have lyme or not is immaterial at this point. I could have any dread disease and the process towards health would be almost the same. Just switch out my teasel for something else more specific to what I am trying to rid my body of. My focus right now is a healthy well lifestyle. If I cleanse my body and fortify my body it should be able to fight its own battles and leave me a stronger person. This probably all sound simplistic and trite, I don't mean to. I rarely say the words "I have Lyme" because I don't consider myself a "Lymie". I consider myself a person who is not in optimum health working towards that goal of golden vitality. I really don't think about killing bugs anymore but of getting and being well.

You all are right, don't give the bugs any energy; give the energy to your body!

I do have a few friends with Lyme and when I ask them how they are doing I genuinly want to know because I care about THEM. I do talk about Lyme as we try to work out solutions and try new things; but all in the context of what do we do next to get healthy.

I might add that our goal when setting up this forum was to create a positive place for solutions. It is all about moving towards health.

I hope this ramble makes sense to somebody! LOL!

Take care,
Cheryl

[shandyM]

Cheryl,
You said it perfectly! I think that was what I was trying to get at, but just cannot really verbalize how I am thinking/ feeling really well at this point in time. I really love that this forum is more positive and more about HELPING us in the process of healing!!!

Peace, Blessings and healing to all!

[R**]

How's this for authority?

Within and around the earth,
Within and around the hills,
Within and around the mountains,
Your authority returns to you.

–A Tewa Pueblo Prayer

Doesnt mean the symptoms are not scary or life sucking, but at some point, we do have to choose our battles, dont we?

I am finding amygdala retraining therapy helpful. Its a good prespective. The amygdala is the point of alarm in the body. Once it is triggered, we agree or disagree with it. The more we agree, the more we set the alarm higher, so we become hypersensitized. The effect is cumulative like a snowball going downhill. And fight, flight or freeze via the sympathetic nervous system via the amygdala causes MORE symptoms, crazy ones.

So I am focusing on this "retraining" and going to see what symptoms are left after I reign in amygdala.

Stephen Buhners latest article is less scary and more focused on inner ecology. But yes, everything out there so far feeds the fear too much.

I would like to talk about cure because we dont bleach ourselves of all microbes do we? Our bodies find balance either after antimicrobial intervention or without it.

[momoftwohugs]

I feel so blessed to have been directed to (and found) this forum. This thread has been quite empowering for me, and I must say that I found mysaelf nodding my head in agreement to many wonderful points. It is all about perspective, and being ready to live life NOT lyme. I have even asked my Dr's to stop referring to "it" as I feel it gives it power...to give it a name. Many times throughout the years I have used terms such as "war" and "warrior", "fight" and so forth. It was needed at the time, however I find myself in a place of wanting to "retire" from that place and wander along my path to wellness in a more peaceful way. This is a journey for us all, and once again I am thankful to have wandered to this place.

[LadyB]

I SO appreciate checking in with this thread every so often. Such GOOD stuff. I've also taken the word 'cured' off any number of places and state that I am WELL. After Dr Frank Aieta's teleseminar (the audio is available on http://www.lymehope.com go to the AUDIO section) I asked a question I probably should have pushed through DURING the program. I asked Dr Aieta if HE feels we're ever 'CURED', or are we 'CHANGED'. Listen to his recording, he's all about changes.

When you think on it, I don't think there's a soul on this planet who isn't carrying SOMETHING. It's part of being alive in this time. How WELL we live our lives within this framework says a lot.

~Research~ says that babies are born these days with a horrifying number of chemicals already polluting their systems. What do we DO with that info? Get depressed? (yeah, a little) LABEL that child as 'ruined/damaged'? No. We DEAL. We take our knowledge and use it to cease contributing to the toxic imbalances mindlessly and we DEAL. We find allies. We reach for help, learn to ASK for help, we hit some walls, have some dark and terrifying nights (and haven't people all through history surivived those) but we don't wallow. Feeding fear? That's never worked for anyone except people seeking to have power over others. I think we learn to re-define WELL.

A life with no challenges would be dreary indeed. Those of us who pulled in Lyme as one of our challenges have been given something pretty huge to WORK WITH.
LadyB