Lyme Warrior?

[R**]

Lady Barbara,

I would love to hear your perspective on lyme disease... do you see fighting a war and being a warrior or do you see a different scenerio? I am trying to come to terms with how I see this and would love to hear your perspective.

Thanks!

Robin

[lenasquest]

I, too, have been thinking of the terminology of recovery from Lyme. The subconscious listens to everything we say, and I know we're all weary unto death of the word 'war' in the news. It's a very dead, depressing word carrying all the vibratory woes of human history with it.

Recently I read the book "Behaving as if the God in all Life Mattered' by Machaelle Small Wright. In it, she challenges our adversarial relationship with pests, á là Findhorn. It has set me to thinking differently about my bellicose language and my image of my body being a battlefield. Most battlefields are rendered useless and fallow for decades after a war has ended, so I'm rethinking my healing imagery. I showed the graphics of winthelymewar to a friend who'd also read the book and she shook her head and gave me a troubled look (she's a very good friend and wants to see me well and vibrant again.)

I do know, as a hypno-therapist, that we never make post-hypnotic suggestions using a negative like 'I won't smoke' or, 'I won't be afraid' but rather, 'I savor only clean air in my lungs',' I am full of courage and strength'. Like everyone else, I've vented my anger and frustration on my critters and bugs, and experienced pleasure at the thought that my 'tenement' is loosing its 'squatters'. I realize that Lyme&Co. at least from Plum Island, is a manufactured evil, but the components are still part of the natural world

I'm reading Masaru Emotos' book 'The Hidden Messages in Water', in which words taped to the side of a vessel of water can change the crystalline structure of frozen water. He discovered that 'I hate you' will produce decidedly deformed crystals, while 'I love you' will produce exquisite snowflake patterns. Once I saw what micro-waved water produced, I finally abandoned heating water in one!

At this point, after 40+ years of Lyme, and 4 years of treatment, I want to leave it behind me. Giving this a lot of thought.

If all these things are pointing to a new relationship with the natural world, we Lymies, ever the pioneers, have an opportunity to be in the vanguard of that relationship.

Be well,
Léna

[Cheryl]

Lena, as usual your imagary is wonderful. I don't consider my body a battlefield. I don't think I ever have. I consider myself a well person who has some bad days; albiet, there have been times when there were more bad days than good! Taking the stance that you are a well person with a few bad days, is a very strong position, giving your body and subconscience a strong image to work from. I do not allow myself to think of myself as sick now or in the future on any level.

As for the wording on our logo, again, I think the thinking was WIN the lyme war. Personally, I wasn't thinking of my body as part of the war, but the war of trying to get good info out against big pharma etc. To me, the war was without, not within. There were several of us that kicked around ideas for many days trying to come up with something catchy, easy to remember and STRONG on the WIN! Maybe the others that were involved have a different perspective.....

I think perhaps that each of us has to come up with the "WIN" image in our own mind, whatever that would be. I am sure the image will be different for men than women, as well as the young or old. We are victors, we are well, we are healthy and vibrant!

Cheers!
Cheryl

[LadyB]

Yeah, I was hoping the title was more about WIN than about WAR. But with that BEING the title, and knowing that most battlefields (like Gettysburg, which Perelandra's Michaelle Wright was actually asked to come heal) become dead themselves that I wrote the piece on 're-planting the battlefield'.

In the MANY years I struggled with Lyme I have to say I DID feel like a warrior. I told myself I WAS going to beat this (for lack of a better word) INVASION. And to be 'invaded' by beasts who set up housekeeping and multiply and do damage to our bodies, it's hard NOT to see it as a fight to kill them off. But that is by no means the whole story.

Someone on facebook just recently pointed to an article by David Hoffman where he calls for referring to these 'battles' with foreign organisms in a more ECOLOGY-minded way. I don't consider Candida to be an invading infection, it's merely an overgrowth and so blasting away with massive anti-fungals is a lousy answer. One must restore the balance. But spirochetes?

One of my favorite parts of Matthew Wood's teleseminar was his noting that 'we want to give your immune system credit for DOING this.' That's why I'm not a huge fan of months/years of antibiotics. That's why I AM such a big fan of Teasel. I truly believe that it ASSISTS our bodies in dealing with not only the invasion, but the HEALING. I find the pattern of KILL the beasts with everything you can take, and then BLAST away with all manner of DE-TOX to be far more napalm than healing.

I'm a certified hypnotherapist too and yes, we NEVER end a session with negative suggestions. I honestly feel that some of the worst damage to the Lyme 'population' as it were, is the FEAR that is taken in with TMR (Too much RESEARCH)

But yes, I wouldn't mind seeing a bit less personal warfare vocabulary being used, I'll try to watch my fingers. : )
LadyB

[Thane]

I think War means different things to different people. I'm actually empowered by our title WinTheLymeWar! I have just come through 26 hellish years, six of the last eight truly horrifying. I never knew a person could endure so much suffering and survive. I felt sure I would die before it got that painful, at times wished I would die, but it didn't happen. I was at war. But not in a negative way. I feel very sure the ONLY way I made it through was by pretending I was a POW being tortured and I was never going to give the enemy the satisfaction of seeing my spirit broken. My constant mantra was "survive" "fight" and "never give up". I was not going to give up without a fight. And yes, I was fighting for my life. I felt far beyond the reach of subtle energetic shifts that could suddenly bring me back to health. I was over run, invaded, beaten down, and nearly completely broken by an army of organisms that had no business occupying my body. And every time i felt I could not go on I searched deeper within me and grabbed hold of that teeny bit of hope and strength and got back in the fight. I didn't have the luxury of making a treaty with the enemy. I was presented with no peace deal. I had almost completely lost my mind, my kidneys were failing, I was yellow from jaundice, and autism symptoms that had cut me off completely with other humans. Whether I chose to admit it or not, the infections were at war with me. And they were playing for keeps. The only thing that got me through those years alive was the steely resolve I found when I realized this was going to kill me, and kill me soon, if I didn't get my act together and fight back with every thing I had.

But even with my body being overrun by harmful microbes...it wasnt that i was developing a hate for the bugs. There was no anger there. The primary battle was to hang on to life, my sanity, and my resolve.

Today i'm still sick, mostly housebound, and lots of brain fatigue that keeps my world small, but i'm in a much better place. Now I look at healing in a more gentle way. I've won enough battles now to take a break once in a while to catch my breath, reflect, and plan my next move. But every once in a while I still get hit with a herx that has me scrambling again to hang on to my sanity. And its the conditioning of all those years where I was fighting to keep my sanity, and cling to hope that gets me through it.

The reason I feel empowered by words like struggle, fight, war, etc...is becuase it gives me a sense of control over my 'destiny'. A sense that I can influence the outcome. A chance to WIN!

This battle also has many fronts. Of course us patients struggle the hardest. We are the real victims in this fight. But in addition to us we have heroic doctors fighting for their medical licenses against boards corrupted by money and insurance company infuence. There are those fighting daily with the IDSA to have the Lyme Disease guidelines changed to include those of us with the chronic form of the disease. And then politicians legislating away our rights to treat ourselves naturally. I dont think a wink and a smile is going to swoon those working against us. Like the microbes, these 'macrobes' are also playing for keeps.

Just my thoughts,

Thane

[Cheryl]

Well said, Thane!

[lenasquest]

Hi Thane,
Forgive me; I didn't mean to disparage your role as Lyme warrior. I think your role is perfect for you and for most people who simply won't accept the possibility of Lyme winning. You are a young man; the profile of a warrior, and I know some of your martial arts disciplines have helped strengthen your warrior resolve. You are in exactly the right context for you.

I have been a healer/warrior for many decades, even before my illness had a name. At this time, I find myself, as a war-weary grandmother, in another place. Write it off to Spring Lyme flare, or the fact that my psoriasis has finally come down out of my concealable hairline and onto my face (truly heartbreaking). Perhaps it's my passing through another anniversary mark of my fight. I'm SO much better than I was, but the ongoing campaign of protocols, of ordering supplements, of all the rituals of fighting this thing sometimes just gets to me and I wonder if there is another way to do this; another perspective, or ah-ha understanding that i haven't yet found.

I feel like the owner of a tiny bodega in a sketchy neighborhood, who must pay protection money to stay in business. I'm still very much in business, but I'm also paying and paying and paying, and thinking how nice it would be to change my neighborhood, my business, or my means of protecting myself.

In Hinduism, the relative world is run by the three gunas: Satva, Ragas, and Tomas: the forces of creating, maintaining, and destroying. It's said that the most formidable and deadly guna is Ragas, the maintainer. I know that I have been too long destroying or maintaining. Now I feel a need to create, and wherever, whenever possible, stop thinking about Lyme. I want to do the things people do in peacetime.

So. Today I sewed slipcovers for two large sofas, as their leather was badly scuffed and unsightly.It was something I could do and finish. Tomorrow, I'll flush: not my liver but my oxyhydrogen welder, put some new electrolyes not into me but into it's chamber that makes the oxyhydrogen gas and commence to create.

Like John Merrick, the Elephant Man, who wanted just once to sleep lying down, even if it might kill him, I want to step out of the fight, just to see how it would feel to be 'normal' for a day.

Don't worry. I'm not depressed, really, I'm just fed up and needing to vent that, I guess.

Meanwhile, I applaud anyone's perspective that propels them toward recovery.

Be well,
Léna

[LadyB]

You know what Lena, you've brought up a wonderful point.
Back when I used to see Lyme patients personally, the oddest thing I would encourage them to do is to sit down for just a little while every day and 'pretend' they didn't have Lyme, that they DIDN'T hurt. They'd look at me like I was nuts. But this is very sound hypnotherapeutical, mind-body work. Something utterly REAL happens.

And your imagery of the bodega is terrific, as folks often stall over trying to 'think' about what they 'know' is not 'true'. So switch imagery. Absolutely. A beautiful bodega in a fine and friendly neighborhood, a meeting place for friends and neighbors and strangers. Watch yourself decorating it, putting plants outside, making fine and fragrant food. THIS you could really LOOK FORWARD to doing a little each day. During that time, your body will STOP fighting. It will rest - really deeply. Just a time out. Others may put on music and simply SEE themselves dancing. Or go visit the most wonderful garden. Or just go back to the TimeBeforeLyme. Whatever works.

There is a time to fight, and there is a time to HEAL. But endless 'maintenance' is like endless, low-grade stress.
Lena, all the best on your quest!
LadyB

[lenasquest]

Hi Lady B,

I always used to shape my reality with positive affirmations, and then somewhere in the Lyme process, let go of that discipline, to my disadvantage.

Last night, it was time to load my pill trays: 35 days' worth of S&C, supplements, etc. I usually count count pills I'm depositing, so that as I work through the rows of 7 days, if something interrupts me, I'll know what tray hasn't yet been done. For the salt and C, however, it's easy to see, so instead of counting, I decided to say, "I am well, I am vibrant, I am strong, I am healthy, for each 4 caps put in each little dosage chamber. Wit 13 g salt, and 13.5 g C, per day, for 35 days, that's a powerful dose of positive affirmation.

I've used malas and prayer beads in my time, but the idea of charging my pills with positive energy makes a lot of sense, just like pasting an inward-facing note on my water urn that says 'I love you' shapes the perfection of its crystals. I stir Reiki symbols into sauces and soups, and hope that they are as effective as when i use them on my dog's collapsing trachea.

There is such an abundance of fabulous tools (and I DO mena FABULOUS in the original sense), that don't often come up in discussion on Lyme healing. These tools were probably the main reason I was able to decently coexist with Lyme for so many decades before diagnosis.

Thanks for being here to reaffirm that aspect of my healing journey.

And BTW, I've once again begun teasel, while backing off of MMS to just 3 days a week so as not to overdo things for a while. So far, so good. =)

Now, about that charming bodega: would it be too irresponsible of me to sample a jar of dulce de leche? Or shall I give it to my imagination and savor it there?

Be well,
Léna

[IrishSassy]

Thank you all. I really needed to read all of your comments. I do know that every time I have tried to bombard or "go after" Lyme and its co-infections I am wiped out after and many steps back. I had the same experience with systemic Candida and heavy metal detoxes, etc. many years ago before I found out about having Lyme too. Even though the weather was beautiful all last week here in Portland I got really down in the dumps. I know it is all about being "sick" all the time and working at getting well. It has been a full time job for so many years and has isolated me from many people and life, along with the financial impact it has had on my life. The loneliness and fear just hit me like a truck. I try to stay focused on the good things that have come from this and not think of myself as a "sick" person and that Lyme is not my whole story. Years ago I stopped a variety of treatments for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & Fibromyalgi and all the sub diagnoses I was labeled with plus I dropped my membership in the national organizations & newsletters focused on them. I could not take being "sick" any longer and just wanted to focus on being '"well". It did work for a while but Lyme made its way back to me in many new names and symptoms until I just though I would die painfully from some unknown entity no one could figure out until April 2009. I am blessed my Dr. had a system that stopped my body's reaction to the Lyme and allowed my immune system to work finally but repairing the residual damage to my body and psyche has been more than I expected. I remember reading years ago Deepak Chopra saying that if we are happy our molecules are happy and I've found that to be true and will try to just be a happy "normie" a little more often. This brain of mine will kill me